Books by “Those Lutheran Ladies”

 

Caragana Press Books and Tapes

Caragana Press is a kitchen table operation owned and run by Suzann Nelson and Janet Martin where coffee breaks are ongoing, uniforms are flannel nightgowns, and wages are dirt “sheep.” Hours are 23/7, with one hour off for Sunday Services. Benefits are not discussed because being 100% Norwegian-Lutheran Farm Girls is enough. Shoes and snakes at the worksite are forbidden.

  • You Know You are Lutheran If...

    You Know You are Lutheran If…

    $8.95

    by Suzann Nelson & Janet Martin Paperback This book, boldly emblazoned with a picture of Martin Luther smack-dab on the front cover, is divided into 10 categories so it has something for almost everyone... Steadfast Lutherans, Contemporary Lutherans, Scandinavian Lutherans, Country Church Lutherans, Lutheran Church Basement Women, etc. A great gift idea for Lutherans of all types, (ALC, ELC, ... ... more

  • Growing Up Lutheran: What Does This Mean?

    Growing Up Lutheran: What Does This Mean?

    $14.95

    by Suzann Nelson & Janet Martin
    Paperback
    Still a bestseller, this is a cradle-to-grave humorous look at Lutherans in the '50s, especially those who were triply blessed by being rural and Scandinavian as well as Lutheran. Winner of the 1998 Minnesota Book Award for Humor and the Minnesota Independent Publishers' Award! Check out Those Lutheran Ladies. ... more

  • Luther's Small Dictionary: From AAL to Zululand

    Luther’s Small Dictionary: From AAL to Zululand

    $14.95

    by Suzann Nelson & Janet Martin
    Paperback
    This is written for full-blooded Lutherans, halfhearted Lutherans, Lutheran Wannabes and non-Lutherans who get dragged to the St. Olaf Christmas Concert and don't know why. It contains entries such as, "Zacchaeus -- a New Testament figure who, like many a Lutheran woman, was up a tree because company was coming ... ... more

  • Just How Much Scrap Lumber does a Man need to Save?

    Just How Much Scrap Lumber does a Man need to Save?

    $10.95

    by Suzann Nelson & Janet Martin
    Paperback
    This book, perfect for the men in your life, traces the history of scrap lumber to the cavemen and Noah right up to Martha Stewart, President Bush, Stephen King, Ralph Lauren and Sally Jesse Raphael. If you really want to make a statement, top it off with a Scrap Lumber ... ... more

  • Sale! Cream Peas on Toast

    Cream Peas on Toast

    $10.95 $6.00

    by Suzann Nelson & Janet Martin
    Paperback
    Subtitled "Comfort Food for Norwegian-Lutheran Farm Kids and Others," this book, although not a cookbook, is ideal for anyone who has ever eaten white food on a white plate in a white house. The authors are quick to point out that they would "rather eat food than write about ... ... more

  • Sale! Is It Too Windy Back There, Then?

    Is It Too Windy Back There, Then?

    $8.95 $4.00

    by Suzann Nelson & Janet Martin
    Paperback
    This is a collection of phrases many of us don't hear much anymore. Things like "Mom, can I drive home from the mailbox?" or "Sure thought he'd make it through Christmas!" and "It doesn't smell spoiled!" (The implication: "So just eat it and quit whining!") ... more

  • They Glorified Mary, We Glorified Rice

    They Glorified Mary, We Glorified Rice

    $7.95

    by Suzann Nelson & Janet Martin
    Paperback
    A Catholic-Lutheran lexicon for those who have forgotten what it was like in the 50's. This little book is packed with great one-liners such as, "They had incense; we had Air Wick" and "They had patron saints; we pretty much fended for ourselves!" ... more

  • Sale! stores_chores

    They Had Stores, We Had Chores

    $8.95 $4.00

    by Suzann Nelson & Janet Martin
    Paperback

    This lexicon compares and contrasts the daily lives of town kids and farm kids in the 50's, and is rich with one-liners such as, "They had barber shops; we had Moms with bowls and wicked clippers," and "They had goldfish in a bowl; we had suckers in the stocktank"! ... ... more

  • Sale! Uffda, But Those Clip-ons Hurt, Then!

    Uffda, But Those Clip-ons Hurt, Then!

    $4.95 $2.50

    by Suzann Nelson & Janet Martin
    Paperback
    A booklet of cartoon drawings based on Norway's most famous artist, Edvard Munch, and his sketch of "The Scream." We figure it never caught on among our people in the New Land because it is about mental anguish and we, the Scandinavian-Americans, don't have mental problems. We just say, "Oh, ... ... more

  • Those Lutheran Ladies: Live at Medora

    Those Lutheran Ladies: Live at Medora

    $7.95

    CD
    Just when we think everyone in the U.S. and Canada must already have eight or nine copies of this 20-minute humor tape, we get more orders for it! No, we aren't complaining, and no, it isn't music, and we don't sing or play instruments — at least not in public. But now, in response to ... ... more

  • Growing Up Lutheran Sound Version

    Growing Up Lutheran

    $19.95

    Audiobook in CD format
    Read by authors Suzann Nelson & Janet Martin, & a few select friends
    Authors Nelson & Martin read an abridged version of their bestselling book, Growing Up Lutheran, in their natural Norwegian-American brogues. Chapters are introduced with excerpts from familiar Lutheran hymns. In other words, there are no hymns from the green ... ... more

  • Sale! Jiggle Your Jell-O DVD

    Jiggle Your Jell-O DVD

    $14.95 $10.00

    DVD
    Featuring "Those Lutheran Ladies," David Cook and Greta Grosch.
    Janet Letnes Martin and Suzann Nelson, commonly known as "Those Lutheran Ladies," have adopted new personas for this crazy DVD. Watch them portray Myrtle Klemetson and Ethel Urness, Emil's Mrs. — the ladies just down the road apiece — as they try to understand the younger generation ... ... more

 

Cloth Stuff Designed by “Those Lutheran Ladies”

Whether you’re drying dishes in a steamy church basement after the Lutefisk Supper or just plain steaming from the inside out after a certain age, Caragana has a practical product (a bleachable dishtowel or a hotflash hanky) designed to help you maintain your cool.

And speaking of practical, how about a sturdy apron in “new” hymnal red. Good for men and women of all sizes, the straps are adjustable unlike those on some modern garments. Eight of these aprons hanging in your church basement kitchen are just the incentive the men will need to help serve up that slippery lutefisk. Of course, for normal events we have normal T-shirts with abnormal slogans.

  • Sale!

    Jiggle Your Jell-O T-shirt

    $16.00$18.00 $8.50

    This new T-shirt is great for the Jell-O fanatic in your family. It also has a peace-keeping function: If you are a Jell-O Norwegian-Lutheran family hosting a Catholic family that hasn't quite adopted the changes proposed by the Pope following the Second Vatican Council which convened in 1962 and you feel you better serve fish ... ... more

  • red_lutheran_tshirt

    “Confirmed Lutheran” T-shirt Reformation Red

    $16.00$18.00

    Above Martin Luther's Seal it says, "This is Most Certainly True" and below it the shirt is stamped just like a passport saying, "Confirmed Lutheran!" Good for today's confirmands as well as for those who "read for the minister" when memory work really mattered and "Public Questioning" or catechization was enough to make Lutheran boys' ... ... more

  • scrapshirt_tan

    Scrap Lumber T-shirt

    $16.00$18.00

    A sketch of a happy, busy man looking over his scrap lumber pile and the saying, "Just How Much Scrap Lumber Does a Man Need to Save?," from the book of the same name, fill the front of this t-shirt. It has been suggested that a warning label belongs with this item because a man ... ... more

 

“Those Lutheran Ladies”

coffee_Suz_Janet

Janet Letnes Martin and Suzann (Johnson) Nelson
Minnesota-based Humorists and Authors

These two 100 percent Norwegian-Lutheran farm girls present programs — together or individually — for churches, civic organizations, farm associations, festivals, Sons of Norway lodges, and any other group they think sounds decent. After performing for three weeks at the Medora Musical in 1998, their popularity moved beyond the Upper Midwest and now they entertain from Washington DC on the East Coast to Washington State on the West Coast. When they perform together they are known as Those Lutheran Ladies. Performances by these middle-aged women are heartwarming and nostalgic but also very, very funny. The basic theme in their programs is that of growing up Scandinavian-Lutheran in Midwestern farming communities in the ’50s. This same theme is carried out in the nine books they have co-authored and published.

Janet Letnes Martin and Suzann Nelson met at Augsburg College during Freshman Week of 1964, two farm girls transplanted into the heart of Sin City to attend a Norwegian-Lutheran College. They found themselves surrounded by hippies and heathens, pizza parlors and neon lights, and all sorts of riffraff.

Until they moved away to college the only noises interrupting their peaceful and tranquil lives were church bells once a week, combines during harvest, roosters crowing way too early in the morning, the noon whistle from town and the nightly whistle of the Great Northern speeding through town. Martin is a native of Hillsboro, ND and Nelson grew up at Evansville, MN. They both attended Our Savior’s Lutheran Church in different states.

Both had grown up in quiet Norwegian-Lutheran communities feasting on wholesome, bulky white foods: Cream and Bread, Cream Peas on Toast, Glorified Rice, and lutefisk, lefse, rømmegrøt, potet klubb, and anything made with their favorite ingredient, lard!

suz_janet_pursesAt first they had a hard time finding these foods at college but once they did, they discovered that these white, bulky foods were good bonding agents and they have been friends ever since. Whenever they get together a coffee pot and computer are close by, and they have lots of ideas for more books and products “in the hopper.”

In 1998 they were awarded the Minnesota Book Award for Humor and an independent publishers’ award for “Growing Up Lutheran.” A musical comedy, Church Basement Ladies, based on this book opened in the Twin Cities September, 2005 and ran through December, 2006.

Martin and Nelson plan to continue writing books, designing more humorous products, and performing until lumbago sets in and their daughters say, “Enough’s enough, then!” and put them in a home.

Suzann (Johnson) Nelson and Janet Letnes Martin Receive Prestigious ‘Gold Pen Award’…

Attention Sons of Norway members: Check out the August 2007 issue of Viking Magazine for a feature article on ‘Those Lutheran Ladies’. On the magazine cover are two confirmands and the girl with the stars coming out of her stomach is Suzann Nelson, co-author of many books and owner of this web site.

Speaking Information
For many years Suzann and Janet have given programs individually and together. When performing together they are known as ‘Those Lutheran Ladies.” For the time being, Suzann is taking a moratorium from speaking engagements and program performances. Janet, however, continues to travel throughout the states giving humorous programs based on growing up Norwegian Lutheran on a farm in the MidwestTo obtain information about booking Janet for a program, phone her at 651-437-3179.